Embarrassing Packages
by SpaceRanger
Summary: In hindsight, Liara should've known that opening this was a bad idea.
1. Embarrassing Packages

** DISCLAIMER****: **_All of the characters in this fic are not mine. They are the property of BIOWARE. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)_

** Author's Note****:**_Warning! Female Shepard Being In Love With Liara T'Soni ahead! If this offends you press the back button now!_

_So again, I hadn't planned on writing this at all. I blame this on reading this prompt: masseffectkink. live journal . com **/** 5020 .html ? thread = 18949020 #t18949020 (Don't forget to remove the spaces). I also took a little headcanon from 'Marked.' No, you do not need to read that before reading this as they are different Shepards._

** Embarrassing Packages **

by SpaceRanger

She was sitting on the floor of their living room with the package before her when she discovered The Problem.

In hindsight, Liara should've known that opening Shepard's package was a bad idea.

When she had first seen the aforementioned package, a shiver of dread rolled down her spine as if some unholy alliance had been forged and it told her: "THROW AWAY THE PACKAGE! NOW!" But the combination of Shepard not being back for another hour and her own curiosity had griped her. Plus, she reasoned with herself, Liara's own name had been written on the package as well… twice.

Granted it was written "To Liara and Shepard from Liara's fairy Godparents" but her reasoning said that part of the package's contents was meant for her as well.

And she was right about that unholy alliance. Liara was still so horrified and stunned by the items within she didn't hear her omni-tool beep to announce Shepard's return until she heard her bondmate trudge loudly through the living room where the asari spent the entire day losing the fight against her intense desire to know.

She rushed to throw everything in the box and toss it out the window but it was too late. Shepard had already swooped in and claimed her with a hug, her lips pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"Mmmhhmmm, missed you." Shepard purred then turned her head slightly to nuzzled Liara's cheek.

The strong stink of what smelled like weeks of unwashed sweat, smoke, alcohol, and gun residue made Liara gag, distracting her from The Problem. She turned her head to face her bondmate while using one of her hands to push the human far enough away from her to see Shepard's face.

"Shepard! What is that smell?!" The human's entire face lights up as if she'd been waiting for that question for years and grinned widely enough to show teeth while gleefully exclaiming,

"Manly Smell!"

"Manly…?" Liara gave Shepard confused look. Shepard nodded as if that phrase was the wisest set of words she'd ever said.

"See, the gang and I agree that everything we just did was Manly. We Manly blew past speed limits with the mako. We Manly kicked down doors. We Manly shot the bad guys. And we Manly blew up the station. So this… is the smell of my Manliness." Liara frowned and lightly shoved the human in the direction of their bedroom.

"Your 'Manliness" stinks and you need a shower and a bath or six." Shepard made a noncommittal sound and slumped forward to drape herself over the asari's back. Liara stood up, causing the human to be pulled along with her and walked towards the direction of their bedroom. Yet, Shepard still didn't let go.

"Shepard~." The warning in Liara's tone was unmistakable and earned her a whimper from her bondmate as Shepard reluctantly moved to do as she requested, least she be sent to The Couch once more.

Once she was satisfied that her bondmate had gotten in the shower, Liara realized that she needed to get some work done in regards to the mission Shepard and her team had returned from. So, she left to stand at her terminal, her mind already racing faster then her hands on the holo-keyboard, the package left forgotten until…

"This is a joke right?" The horrified sounding words from Shepard made Liara turn around. A part of her was pleased to note that the human had followed her request judging by her wet hair and the smell of soap. But that was overwritten as soon as she saw the box in Shepard's hands and her own shudder of horror ran down her spine again.

"I am… not sure."

"You haven't been talking to your dad about our… activities have you?" Liara blushed hotly.

"No!" There was a slight pause before she asked, "What about your mom?"

Shepard shook her head quickly, her body trembling a bit.

"No! There are just some things you just don't share with your parents!" Using her thumb and forefinger, Shepard pulled out something that looked like a circle of black ribbon with the ends of a half circle attached to its middle. "And vice versa."

"I believe that's a thong."

"I know, Love. I know." The despair in Shepard's voice was obvious as she dropped the thong back into the box, then the box itself. She kicked the box away from them with the side of her foot for good measure. Then, she walked toward Liara, eyeing the box warily as if it might grow walking implements and follow her. "I just don't know what's worse: us getting _that_ or our parents actually talking."

"I don't understand?" Shepard turned away from the box, an expression of misery on her face.

"Love, you've _**met**_ my mom! Your dad's open pervert-ness and my mom's open-only-among-friends/family-pervert-ness is a disaster for us waiting to happen. Family reunions will now consist of lots of juvenile hee-haw and 'Shepard, did you curl her toes? Grope her grinder? Grey her Warden? Explore her Deep Roads?'."

Shepard slapped her hand to her face and groaned. Liara didn't understand some of the phrases but she deduce that it was all "dirty talk" by context though admittedly the 'curl her toes' one was obvious even to her. But it was Shepard's horrible impression of Hannah and Aethyta when she said those phrases that had her fighting back giggles.

"Well, you have to admit, they know us too well." The human dropped her hand back to her side.

"Know us…? Love, if they knew us then they'd know that I'd love it if you don't wear anything at all -" Shepard's eyes raked her body up and down lewdly and Liara felt a shiver of arousal to crawl along the same path. Her bondmate managed to get a hold of herself and shook her head.

"I would never focus ever again if you do but not the point. The point is there are pink panties in there." Shepard shuddered. "Very feminine, lacy _pink_ panties that are see-through in the back. _See-through_, Love, _**See. Through.**_

Liara took Shepard's hand and hooked the human's fingers against the top of the asari's pants.

"I can model those for you next week."

"Next… " Shepard's voice trailed off and Liara felt a flash of smugness at her bondmate's blatant stare as the asari slowly lowered those fingers and the pants, revealing the black thong she had purchased on a whim right after Aethyta and Hannah shoved the package into her hands with almost twin-like conspiring grins.

Shepard's breath hitched and the silly complaisant 'I'm yours' Shepard vanished, replaced by powerful primal 'you're mine' Commander. Liara could practically feel Shepard's arousal and possessiveness flare up and it caused her own body to sing louder in response.

They almost didn't make it to the bed.

* * *

_A/N: Epilogue Chapter to follow for this request: masseffectkink. livejournal 5020 .html ? thread = 19187612 # t19187612_


	2. Epilogue

** DISCLAIMER****: **_All of the characters in this fic are not mine. They are the property of BIOWARE. Hope you enjoy! Comments and complaints welcomed! :-)_

** Author's Note****:**_Warning! Female Shepard Being In Love With Liara T'Soni ahead! If this offends you press the back button now!_

___This is Epilogue Chapter for this request: masseffectkink. livejournal __. com **/** _ 5020 .html ? thread = 19187612 # t19187612

** Embarrassing Packages: Epilogue **

by SpaceRanger

"Underwear? Really?" Hannah's QEC image shrugged, her eyes never leaving the magazine with huge FORNAX lettering on the cover in her hands and her feet propped up nonchalantly on a stool. To her right was a terminal where an image of Aethyta sat, the older asari busy running through the final wave of the training simulation she was building for the commandos she was assigned to train by the Matriarch Council.

"We didn't hear you complain when you saw Liara in the black thong."

"YOU SPIED ON US?!" The tone in Aethyta's image's response could've dried wet paint.

"Absurdly said by the leader of an information broker's merc band. And we didn't, until now." Before Shepard could say anything else Hannah continues,

"Be glad it was just that. The two of us were wasted and the final choices came down-" Aethyta turned away from her simulated target long enough to waggled the muscles above her eyes suggestively and snicker. "to underwear or hookers."

"..." Shepard laid a hand to her face and wiped it downwards so it would rest on her chin while the elbow of that same hand rests on the palm of the other. In the "I know I'm gonna regret asking this" tone of voice she asked,

"_**Why**_ would it even come down to underwear or _hookers_ in the first place?" This time it was Aethyta who shrugged and thuds of rockets missing the older asari could be heard through the speaker as she replied,

"It didn't smell like you've gotten laid since your official bonding."

A fact known only by the asari, their bondmates, and maybe their bondmate's family was that when a True Union has been established, the asari body would continuously generate a strong scent until the Union ends. Having sex with them would cause the partner to be doused in the asari's scent, 'marking' them. And the mark never really goes away except if the partner joins in a True Union with another asari or the Union ends. The more times they have sex, the stronger the smell.

"And I agreed that _that_ was horrifying." Shepard rolled her eyes.

"Not everyone arranges their days around getting laid twice a day like you and dad did Mom."

"Sometimes more, particularly-"

"MOM! DID NOT AND DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THAT!"

Hannah clucked her tongue, turned a page, then turned it back. Aethyta bellowed a cry of triumph as the simulated voice chimed in with "Mission Successful."

"Now, now. You should be happy, I won a thousand credits from 'Thyta with this call."

"You betted on when we'd call you?!"

"Of course not." Hannah turned a page as she added dismissively,

"Too many variables." Shepard stared at the older human in disbelief.

"Too many…?"

"Too many. So I put down some creds on whether or not you and Liara would use items in the pantie box today. I was right. You didn't. Hmm… " Hannah put down the magazine in her lap and tapped her omnitool. "Huh… I would've won that too, though you were cutting it close. 17.3 seconds left."

Her mother shrugged lazily, as if it betting on the sex life of their children and their significant other was _commonplace_.

"How would you even know that?!" Here Aethyta smirked wolfishly as the older asari answered,

"You didn't say 'edible panties'." Shepard could do nothing more then make a strangled sound followed by a very weak,

"_Edible?!_" The older human hummed an affirmative then turned a page.

"Edible." Hannah then continued,

"So now that you've finally Kaddis Liara's Katie - And don't say you didn't, you confirmed it when you screamed 'You spied on us' - " Before Shepard could say anything Aethyta followed up with,

"- Knocked up yet? Or better yet, knocked up my kid yet?"

"NO! We-"

"Dat-dat-dat-dat-dat! The hell you talking to us for Pyjak?! Get your ass back there and - what was that goddess damn phrase Han?"

"Try out the Home Artificial Insemination Kit until it works."

"Yes. That. Now."

And then the QEC and the terminal went dead, leaving Shepard gapping at them. Shepard turned toward the doorway where Liara had hidden herself as soon as she realized (too late) what her bondmate was going to do. All Liara could say was,

"At least they didn't use any of your phrases?"


End file.
